Take 2 – Planning a 2nd Wedding

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Jason and I got engaged. This is going to be the 2nd wedding for both of us, so we have a different perspective on how we’re going to do things this time. Things that were so important with our first weddings, might not be this time, and vice versa.

Being a second wedding, some traditions come into question. Should we have attendants, or no? Can I wear a white dress, or does it have to be ivory? How do we include all the children (we have 5 between the two of us)? How many guests do we invite? So many questions that brides and grooms need to figure out!

A Difference in Opinion
Me personally? I always thought if I ever got married again, I’d go away and get married on the beach. Jason told me it was important to him to include the kids in the wedding. Good point! He also said to me, “If my first marriage was important enough to me to have a big wedding, why wouldn’t my second one be too?” Another good point. Well, aside from bringing our kids on our destination wedding/honeymoon, I can’t really see how to make both of our wishes happen. Let’s just say, I was convinced that we should have a wedding here, it will be a pretty decent sized wedding, and it’s going to be a ton of fun!

The Ceremony
We decided to go with a sort of traditional backyard wedding. It’s going to be at my Mom’s house, out in the country. We have reserved a tent, tables and chairs. We have a photographer and DJ booked. We know what kind of cake we want, but haven’t figured out where we are getting it. We know we want a pig roast, but are having difficulty finding someone to do it for us… We have some other fun things surprised, but I don’t want to give it ALL away (plus, we need to see where things fit in the budget)!

The Dress
Jason and I both (at separate times) thought it might be cool if I wear the red dress he bought me for his holiday party last year. I actually thought of it a long time ago, but thought there was NO way he’d go for it. As we were looking through pictures one night, he said, “What if we wore those?” (pointing to a picture of me in the red dress, and him in his suit). That’s why we are together – we are on the same page with things most of the time! I had some great advice to go try on traditional wedding dresses, just to make sure the red dress was what I really wanted to wear. I’m so glad I did! I really wanted Jason’s opinion, so, when we both had a Monday off, we headed to David’s Bridal. Some people think it’s bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding, but I really wanted his opinion. What was funny to me, was that originally, I pictured myself in a ballet-type dress, with a full tulle skirt. As I was looking at dresses though, the more flow-y dresses with empire waistlines were more appealing. Jason and I got to David’s, and they had me circle the dresses in the catalog that I liked… I did, and the consultant pulled out several for me to try on. After the first few, I wasn’t totally convinced… there was one I liked, but I still liked my red one better…. then, the consultant pulled out another dress. It was white (the other ones were all ivory). She said it wasn’t one I had marked in the catalog, but it seemed to fit with what I liked… Before I even saw it, it felt amazing on. It felt like it was made for my body shape. I stepped out, and as soon as I saw it, I said, “This just moved to #1!” Jason agreed! The consultant pulled out a tiara (not sure how she knew I wanted a tiara, but that was what I wanted), and the perfect veil. We’re talking the whole ensemble, was perfect! I asked my Mom if she would come with Grace and I to see the dress. She was still unsure of the idea of me wearing white for my 2nd wedding. I told her it’s the 2000’s, and anything goes. Lots of 2nd brides are wearing white, and it’s not a big deal. My Mom actually liked one of the other dresses in my top 4 better, but Grace and I loved THE DRESS. My Mom saw how much I liked the dress, and when I put on the tiara and veil for her, I think it grew on her. When the consultant mentioned the same dress in ivory, both my mom and Grace asked me to try it on. Surprisingly, I liked it just as much as the same dress in white. It really wasn’t a yellow-ivory so much as an off-white. I liked that it softened up my features a bit… I haven’t gotten it yet, but most likely, I will be purchasing the “ivory” one. Oh, and I will be having straps put in. I’m not going to be that bride that spends half the night pulling up her dress!

The Attendants
So, we decided to have attendants. In fact, we have 4. Grace is going to be Maiden of Honor, two of my best friends growing up, Jessi and Katie are going to be bridesmaids, as is Jason’s BFF, Tasha. She has been there since our first “non-date.” The Groomsmen will be Jason’s 3 brothers, and my brother (also a Jason). Michael will walk me down the aisle. Jason’s 3 boys will be Ushers.

The Guest List
This is the worst part of the whole process! If we could invite everyone we wanted, we’d have well over 400 on the guest list! That number of people not only pushes the budget, but also REALLY pushes the amount of space we have in the tent (in case of rain). Unfortunately, this is one area we have had to pare down a bit. We’re still finalizing, but we have already had to make some cuts. 😦

Planning the wedding is just as much fun now as it was 12 years ago. There are also challenges, time constraints, etc that we are coming up against. I will continue to write about our planning experience as we make more progress.

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